Nonverbal Communication

Improving Your Nonverbal Skills and Reading Body Language

It's well known that good communication is the foundation of any successful relationship, be it personal or professional. The ability to understand and use nonverbal communication, or body language, is a powerful tool that can help you connect with others, express what you really mean, and build better relationships.  

Why nonverbal communication matters?

The way you listen, look, move, and react tells the other person whether or not you care, if you’re being truthful, and how well you’re listening.
If you want to become a better communicator, it’s important to become more sensitive not only to the body language and nonverbal cues of others, but also to your own.

Types of nonverbal communication and body language

There are many different types of nonverbal communication. Together, the following nonverbal signals and cues communicate your interest and investment in others.

1. Facial expressions

The human face is extremely expressive, able to express countless emotions without saying a word. And unlike some forms of nonverbal communication, facial expressions are universal. The facial expressions for happiness, sadness, anger, surprise, fear, and disgust are the same across cultures.

 

 

2. Body movements and posture

Consider how your perceptions of people are affected by the way they sit, walk, stand up, or hold their head. This type of nonverbal communication includes your posture, bearing, stance, and subtle movements.

 3. Gestures

We wave, point, beckon, and use our hands when we’re arguing or speaking animatedly—expressing ourselves with gestures often without thinking. However, the meaning of gestures can be very different across cultures and regions, so it’s important to be careful to avoid misinterpretation.

 

4. Eye contact

Since the visual sense is dominant for most people, eye contact is an especially important type of nonverbal communication. The way you look at someone can communicate many things, including interest, affection, hostility, or attraction.

5. Touch

Think about the messages given by the following: a weak handshake, a timid tap on the shoulder, a warm bear hug, a reassuring slap on the back, a patronizing pat on the head, or a controlling grip on your arm.

6. Space

We all have a need for physical space, although that need differs depending on the culture, the situation, and the closeness of the relationship.

7. Voice

It’s not just what you say, it’s how you say it. Think about how someone's tone of voice, for example, can indicate sarcasm, anger, affection, or confidence.

Tips for reading body language and nonverbal communication

Once you’ve developed your abilities to manage stress and recognize emotions, you’ll naturally become better at reading the nonverbal signals sent by others.

• Pay attention to inconsistencies. Nonverbal communication should reinforce what is being said.For example, are they telling you “yes” while shaking their head no?
• Look at nonverbal communication signals as a group. Don’t read too much into a single gesture or nonverbal cue. Consider all of the nonverbal signals you are receiving, from eye contact to tone of voice and body language.
• Trust your instincts. Don’t dismiss your gut feelings. If you get the sense that someone isn’t being honest or that something isn’t adding up, you may be picking up on a mismatch between verbal and nonverbal cues.

As you continue to pay attention to the nonverbal cues and signals you send and receive, your ability to communicate will improve.  

Authors: Jeanne Segal, Ph.D., Melinda Smith, M.A., Greg Boose, and Jaelline Jaffe, Ph.D. Last updated: February 2014.