Do not feel it!

Many people still consider it fit and proper to tell others how it should feel different . They say: " Do not be afraid ! Everything will be fine . " Or : " Do not worry about it, it will pass." Or : " Rejoice ! You have your whole life ahead ! " Now I am quite sensitive to such proposals or advice : angry in a terrible way .

But in a conversation between two ordinary people , say, friends, conventional life themes such advice or suggestions are very common . People seem to say to each other : " Do not feel what you feel. What you feel - it is wrong . Need to feel differently . " Most often, people at this moment driven some of his unpleasant feelings that they are unable to express or otherwise, that they want to avoid .

Medical and psychological fact that if you refuse to experience some feelings that you stop everything.

Yes, we have some power over their feelings and some informed choices . But overall, in my opinion , this force is negligible. Especially if a person is experiencing hard times. Attempts to force yourself to be happy (or mourn ) like trying to change the temperature of the river water with an electric kettle , pouring boiling water over there liter liter : and tired quickly , and there is no sense .

This idea that there are right , good , feeling fit , and abnormal , usually the unwanted remains unspoken , and often - unconscious . This is a dangerous idea, and sooner or later it has to those who believe in it . I see it .

Here's what I imbibed from his psychological training and therapy of his own :

- Any good feelings and all feelings are needed .

- Every person has a sense of their own reasons .

- Every person has the right to make any sense at all and any experience ( thoughts, images , desires ) . Nobody can stop me or you feel that you or I feel .

Accommodation feelings - this spiritual work . Especially if it is an unpleasant feeling . To make this work it was possible to make , need strength , determination need - the desire to get rid of the accumulated cargo. And secure environment.

Containment feelings , their staying or ignoring - too work , and heavy. It also requires effort. That's when these efforts are no longer justify itself when this load becomes too heavy , then people looking for help and sometimes find it in psychotherapy. And in my experience, stay stopped earlier feelings really frees the soul and clears the mind .

And it's much more effective tips like " do not worry " or spell " not limit yourself ."

There are, however , and the "shadow " side of my participation in the matter. His son, I still sometimes say, " Calm down ! " So the theme is not closed ...

Author: Ivan KURMANOV